Very interesting and thought-provoking pieces by Jivha and Madhoo on honour killings and violence arising from cultural differences when Indians move to another land.
I have seen this during my own short stint in the UK as a student. Most of what I’ve said here is based on what I’ve seen and heard in the UK…. Indians in the US and other countries may be different (though I do not believe so) Immigrants do tend to stick together in a foreign land – chicken tikka masala and Southall anyone ? There might be many reasons for this :
Guilt ? of having left their own country. I had a neighbour in London whom we’d nicknamed Randhir Kapoor who actually used to cry for his Bharat when he was drunk…. Bahut saal ho gaye chhodke yahan aaye… it is the phenomenon of missing what has been left behind… a realization that the adopted country means nothing more than a means to a better life, read more money.
Frozen images : When I left home to go to a hostel for my PG, my parents knew me and my likes and dislikes. This is what they still believe me to be. In these many years that I’ve been away, I have changed much, as have my tastes and beliefs.
This is roughly what happens to Indians who leave their country to live abroad. They carry with them an image of India at the time they left, even as long ago as the 70s. And although India has moved on, their memory has not kept pace… Bend it Like Beckham families do exist….
The culture complex: I have cousins in the US who send their children to ‘Veda’ classes and ‘Bhajan’ classes….. which tickles me no end. Would they have bothered with these had they lived in India ? My cousins here certainly do not send their children to any such classes…. or even visit the local temple…..
Insecurity: or what I call the minority mind-set. Knowing that they will never be fully accepted by the country they live in…. so, why try ?
First generation immigrants go through the turmoil of having to assimilate into the new culture, while retaining their roots and thereby their loyalty to their motherland. Tough enough.
But imagine the angst that their children go through. They usually have no memories of the country they have left behind. I have friends in the UK who’ve never visited India….. (but they have Indian names, speak Punjabi / Tamil at home, eat dal-chawal and one of them has an image of Guru Nanak on her chain around the neck).
Studying with the firangis in their schools, in their language, having friends from that culture, everything is hunky-dory…. Till it is time for the boyfriend (or girlfriend) to emerge….. or when it is time for their marriage.
Then come the honour killings and the rest…. Read Hanif Kureishi for an evocative and empathetic account of this…. they never let him forget they thought him a nigger, a slave, a lower being. And we pursued English roses as we pursued England; by possessing these prizes, this kindness and beauty, we stared defiantly into the eye of the Empire and all its self-regard […]. We became part of England and yet proudly stood outside it. (227)