A couple of random thoughts – in my mind, they are loosely filed under ‘culture’ and the kind of social discourse and attitudes it can foster..
One is on the rape-marriage incident that Uma has written about. There is a thought-provoking discussion going on around this topic on her blog – one observer has asked, then what is the ‘way out’ for the woman and her child? And I had responded to this comment saying that seeing marriage as a way ‘out’ for this woman or her child is naively believing in the lived-happily-ever-after story… just look at this picture and try to imagine their future together as husband and wife. To protect and cherish. And rape till we die?
My point was about the association of the word ‘honour‘ in relation to rape. First you ‘destroy’ her honour and then ‘redeem’ her honour – does any other culture have this connotation? Movie after hindi movie has had the hero’s sister who’s izzat has been looted by the villian. (There is an even stranger word in Tamil – karpu – roughly meaning chastity – this nebulous but ultra essential ingredient for a ‘good’ woman – but rape is karpazhippu – destruction of chastity)
The only izzat / honour I can associate in my mind with rape is self-respect – that to me is the only real ‘honour’ to get shattered in a rape victim…
——————————————
And the second thought occured to me while watching FRIENDS (come on, admit it, how many of you ever have profound ideas while watching FRIENDS) – Monica tells her brother Ross, but they (their parents) don’t love me as much as they love you. And Ross takes off on how he was a medical miracle – since he was born years after his parents were married, when they had given up all hope for a child… And then Monica followed… Simple explanation…
In India, what different connotations would this have? A daughter feeling unloved, or not loved or cherished as much as the son… Why do we let this happen?
the arabs have this concept of honour too.
the rest of the sub continent. there was this horrible story i read about a man who married a woman as a settlement of a honour issue with her famil. On their wedding night he “handed” her over to his friends
.
somehow,if half the crimes that are committed on women are committed on minorities, human rights groups will be screaming holocaust!
the arabs have this concept of honour too.
the rest of the sub continent. there was this horrible story i read about a man who married a woman as a settlement of a honour issue with her famil. On their wedding night he “handed” her over to his friends
.
somehow,if half the crimes that are committed on women are committed on minorities, human rights groups will be screaming holocaust!
chk this out
http://www.dailytimes.com.pk/default.asp?page=story_2-6-2005_pg7_46
oops sorry about the double posting:)
Ya, I agree, Harini, atrocities on women ought to be addressed as minority issues too! the way the gender ratio is headed in India, we may well become a minority… I keep reading about honour killings too – “would rather kill my da=ughter than have her marry a man form another caste/community” – but in this case, I was talking about the concept of equating honour – or dishonour – with the horror of rape –
incidentally, I also read somewhere that in some Arab country, a woman who has been raped can get stoned to death as a punishment for adultery… can it get worse?
It is high time every father teaches his son, every brother teaches other brethren to respect women. Hope we get to see a “human” world and not “man’s” world or “woman’s” world.
Hi Charu
I think that the woman honor redeemed by marraige might be Islamic in origin. But it might be more common.
At the root of this idea is the idea that women are inferior because they aren’t as physically strong as men and therefore less economically productive. In the modern economy where people tend to work with their minds, the notion that women are a burden is less common. Here is an excellent post by Gaurav Subnis on how the new information economy is changing attitudes. It can’t change fast enough.
Amrita, amen.
Michael, yes I have read about the Arab concept of honour too… and as you say, attitudes can’t change fast enough!