Came across this report on Dilip D’Souza’s blog – and from there on Annie’s – about a woman social worker in MP – she is a campaigner against child marriages – and her hands were slashed off a few hours before thousands of child marriages took place across the state…
LONG POST FOLLOWS – READ AT YOUR OWN RISK
Annie raises some very pertinent questions (do read her excellent post) here on whether we are going about ‘progress’ the wrong way – how much can a lone woman do – with a head full of ideals and with no way of protecting herself against violence that is sure to occur?
And I thought this is Bhanwari Devi all over again – she was a sathin (meaning companion- in this case, a social worker) working in one of the most backward states Rajasthan (this was in a village called Batteri – not back of beyond but less than two hours drive from Jaipur – which is just like any other state capital – atleast prima facie)
The tragedy in her case was that Bhanwari Devi and women like her were making slow but steady progress in their community – by mobilisng the women and educating them – the concept of sathin is wonderful – it is not about an outsider intruding into the lives of the villagers, but a friend from within the community – somewhat easier to accept – however, there are other issues invovled here like caste and heirarchy within the village but that is digressing…
Progress is a slow process – it cannot happen overnight – and indeed it should not (if that sounds unacceptable, think of what can happen to a small rural community in the name of quick progress) – however, the state government, embarrased by some statistics about child marriage in the state, made a hasty decsion and ordered all social workers to report on any such cases. And Bhanwari did – and she was gang-raped by members of the family (this was a prominent and well-do-to family within the community) – she was ‘taught a lesson’ and boycotted by the rest of the village…
It is easy to sit here and cluck in horror about the backwardness of such communties. But, much like female infanticide, this issue goes much deeper than what is apparent.
When something is considered acceptable – and is held to be right by yourself, your family and your community, then is it possible for an outsider to walk in and change your mind about it? And when it is cheaper to get your daughter married off at the same time as hundreds of other girls in the village community, then why not?
None of this means that I am speaking for child marriage or that I condone any such custom – it just means that while it is easy to sit here and pass judgment about how wrong such goings-on are, the reality out there is very different – and very hard to accept – or even understand…
As I had commented on Annie’s and Dilip’s blog, this is not about changing behavior but bringing about a more significant and long-lasting change in belief systems…. (any communications professional can identify with this – cornflakes are good and healthy breakfast – no but alu parathas are healthy and filling)
And unfortunately, this is a slow and time-consuming task – and may take generations for change to seep through… I believe the change has to be brought from within – one of the thoughts I had was about how useful a local ‘influencer’ would be – say, the village headman or the school teacher – and then I remembered instances where I have been asked to leave the village because the headman believed that I did not have any business meddling about – and asking women about their contraception habits – why was I putting ideas into their heads (I was not there as a social worker – but only as a researcher – collecting some data – therefore, the mild response!)… in many cases, it may be tougher to influence the influencer!
Then, what might work? I believe, the educated younger generation may be harbiners of such change – for one, they are from ‘within’ – they are not outsiders but children of the community – and so long as they express their views in a not so radical manner, it would be easier to listen to them… think about the STD booths in rural Maharashtra that I had written about earlier – why do they exist ? beause people in these villages have relatives (and very likely children – atleast in the South, I am sure) living in a big city – and hopefully, some of them are going to school / college there….
I have run out of steam at this point…. please leave your thoughts and comments on this so that we can take it up again soon….
This kind of regression is also function of any state that is run by the BJP. Somehow they give out the impression that they will condone this kind of behaviour in the name of culture and tradition.
somehow we need a system that uniformly delivers the rule of law.
Harini, I don’t think it is just to do with the BJP – what would the Congress – or any other political party have done – at the cost of ‘displeasing’ the vote bank
Charu, it is not so much about action taken after the event. I agree that all parties are equally callous in this regard.
It is more a function of creating an environment where this kind of behaviour is tolerated.
there was a BJP corporator types on one of the myriad newschannels talking about how child marriage is part of our tradition, and how even if it legally banned it can still take place.
When you have a political party in power, that does not even make an attempt to follow the rule of law, and which keeps harping back on things that happened x millenia ago, then you open the doors wide open to this kind of abuse.
Bringing about change in communities is a slow and painful process. I’ve been working with a group that is trying to do this in Andhra, against an equally abhorrible practice (won’t get into that here), and the resistance to change is incredible. But progress is slow. It needs someone with an iron will to drive it forward, and constant support from all of us.
true, bringing about progress can be a discouragingly slow process…. but it doesn’t need just ‘someone’ – it needs a whole lot of people working on it – and a healthy support from the government – I see three main groups – ‘outsiders’ or the social workers with good intentions, the local government and the community itself, atleast partly mobilised….
sunil, would be interested in hearing more about your experiences in AP… maybe on email? I am at charukesi@gmail.com
Harini, i agree with what you say – a ‘closing the stable door’ attitude is of no help – and what is worse is to even refuse to close the stable door but put the blame on the poor horse (as Shiv Sena would) or claim that the horse bolting is a time-honoured custom and therefore not to be objected to! I agree, in this regard the BJP is much worse – they not only tolerate but actively encourage such behavior…