As Annie has said so eloquently, the new year brought. Reading news reports and specifically, blog posts on this incident, I realize now that I was expecting some comment on how the women were at fault – partially if not entirely. Bracing myself for that line. They were asking for it? In what way, please?
Harini has written about an opinion she heard – so what did they expect? Sure, the person was not exactly saying the women were asking for it, but what did they expect? Perhaps a fun night out in the secure company of male friends (husband!). Why, I stood on Baga beach at midnight on new year’s eve with my husband and another couple, humanity spilling out into the sea, some drunk, some sober, feeling the crowds around me but never actually crowding me physically till we tried to make our way through the narrow lane past Tito’s into the main road. Even then I assumed it was the rush of happy people trying to make their way past crowds, just as we were. Call me naive, call my faith in people misplaced. I ought to have expected something like this? And taken precautions – stayed away from any crowded place instead of wanting to watch the fireworks light up the sky over the beaches for an hour?
So is the solution to stay away, stay home, stay covered, stay sober, stay with male company…? Does any of this make you safe? Another thing that really pisses me off is to see women drunk to death. At the hotel where we were partying, no exaggeration here; there were more women literally puking their guts out in comparison to men – says Sakshi – I wonder how much drunkenness had to do with what happened that night – I do not know if these women were drunk or sober, but does that make a difference?
What kind of eye is it that judges a woman wearing Western clothes (jeans, shirts, skirts – as “modest” as Indian clothes) and with a glass in her hand as actually inviting the male glance? and the grope? Does this instinct have anything to do with drunkenness (all that mobs need to be drunk on is the strength of the crowd), migration (I read in several places comments about people migrating from the bimaru states – but Delhi has already claimed that excuse for her own), frustration – economic? (they have the money, they have the looks, they have the opportunity? what about us?) – sexual? (any woman is easy target, all that is needed is a chance?)
Such incidents on one side, it is such reactions that sadden me, but not entirely surprise me…
The Lady writes – In 1977, Anne Pride’s war cry rang out in Pittsburgh. Take Back the Night, she said, and the women of the world took up the chant. In Mumbai, we too, are shouting the slogan, but the night never did belong to us. Was the night then never ours then? Or the day? Or is it time to reclaim them? (there, I have linked to Annie’s post twice here – so read it now if you have not already)
“So is the solution to stay away, stay home, stay covered, stay sober, stay with male company…? Does any of this make you safe?”
I agree completely. I am horrified that we can suggest that women are somehow to blame. So staying out at night is wrong, drinking is wrong, what next? I can see it progressing to Wearing tight dresses is wrong, Wearing make-up is wrong..where does all this end?
No, the night never did belong to us. Think about it, when have women been safe at night? It’s not surprising they were not, in a previous era when society was so patriarchial anyway. It is sad that even now, despite all the progress women have made, we still do not feel safe at night. No, we claim the night, but it still does not belong to us.
Why is that things need to be extremes??
Why must you look at Sakshi’s post and say – she’s saying “Don’t Drink, Stay at home!” – when in essence all she’s saying, is be safe!
~ Avoid those areas where there’s likely to be trouble. Don’t drink yourself silly as there’s a chance you’ll not be able to take care of yourself after that! ~ this is what she was saying and I for one completely agree with her.
She’s not judging the women who were molested, she’s cautioning others to be careful.
What happened in Juhu is a crime like any other. It has to be seen and understood that way.
In such cases, asking whether women themselves invited an attack, is absolutely stupid. It’s no different from asking whether the owner of a house that was burgled invited the thieves in any particular manner. It’s deviating from the issue at hand.
By the way, I spent some time going through your website, blog included. Went through what you had written about Women’s era and about your experiences in a hospital many years back. Must say, you have a good style of writing; including breaking up ideas into paragraphs, which I don’t find in many bloggers doing.
reminds me of another song… but we will possibly have to re interpret the context as per today’s reactions….
parde mein rehne do…
parda na hatao…
parda jo hatgaya bhi to bhedh
khul jaayega…..